That works. And you end up with two 24 V batteries which could prove useful in the future.
16S BMS won't work like that. A 16S BMS is for a 48 V battery. You need two 8S BMS, one for each string.
Or you could create a single 24V battery consisting of 8 series connected pairs of cells, each pair in parallel. That would work with a single 8S BMS, but that BMS has to be able to handle double the current.
I would use two separate BMS. That way you have created two independent batteries. If one dies you have less capacity, but are not shut down completely.