"Output of the BMS" is a weird concept. The BMS lies between two GROUND terminals, one being on the battery pack and the other being the main grounding lug of your system. If BMS is reporting charge and discharge enabled, it is fully activated>
Are you sure that +12V" of your battery pack connects all loads 12v loads, and your "system" ground is connected on the big BLACK lead of the BMS unit? The battery pack "-" (the "-" terminal of the first cell) should be connected on the BLUE lead. Maybe you have the Black and Blue BMS leads connected backwards, or there is something else weird about your system 12V connection?
That system 12V connection does not go through a big BMS lug. It attached only to the battery, and the battery cell (the topmost "+" terminal) has only the system lug and the topmost BMS balancing wire attached.