Dad Jokes (let's hear your worst! ;-)

Zil

Just another ass on the web
Joined
May 27, 2020
Messages
1,833
Boarder came down for his day. Old Dad; "So what brings you to our town?" Boarder; "I'm the entertainment at the tavern tonight." Old Dad; "Entertainment? What do you sing?" Boarder; "Oh, no I don't sing. I'm a comedian." Old Dad; "A comedian?" Boarder; "yes." Old Dad; "Well go on. Change color for me."
 

JoeHam

Photon Sorcerer
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
2,834
Q: Where does a bee go to the bathroom?

A: At the BP station

As told to me by my 3rd grade son over 2 decades ago.

Still one of my favorites.

Hope you have a British Petroleum gas station in your area so it makes sense. 😎
 

HRTKD

Boondocker
Joined
Apr 24, 2020
Messages
7,736
Location
Somewhere South of Denver
A woman taking golf lessons had just started her first round when she was stung by a bee. Distraught, she went back into the clubhouse and told her golf teacher about the incident.

"Where did it sting you?" he asked.

"Between the first and second hole," she replied.

He shook his head and said, "That’s your problem right there. Your stance is too wide!"
 

BoloMKXXVIII

Fully Charged
Joined
Sep 23, 2019
Messages
269
Location
Somewhere on or near Earth
Q: Where does a bee go to the bathroom?

A: At the BP station

As told to me by my 3rd grade son over 2 decades ago.

Still one of my favorites.

Hope you have a British Petroleum gas station in your area so it makes sense. 😎
My mom told me that joke years ago. It was one of her favorite (clean) jokes.
 

Sverige

A Brit in Sweden
Joined
Oct 8, 2020
Messages
365
Santa is hoping to make his rounds this year despite the shortage of presents resulting from so many of his workers going into Elf isolation.....
..... he has special permission to travel during the pandemic because his reindeer have been found to have herd immunity!
 

HRTKD

Boondocker
Joined
Apr 24, 2020
Messages
7,736
Location
Somewhere South of Denver
"Daaaad I'm hungry"
"Hi Hungry, I'm dad!"
classic.

That was very common in my house growing up.

Dad wasn't someone that a young person talked back to. If he saw you stumble there was no sympathy and he said, "Walk much?"

When I grew up, I started responding more acerbically.
Dad: Walk much?
Me: You talk me how.
Dad: You must not have listened.
Me: You mumbled.
 

svetz

Works in theory! Practice? That's something else
Joined
Sep 20, 2019
Messages
5,467
Location
Key Largo
Why don’t crabs give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
 
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