Dad Jokes (let's hear your worst! ;-)

[Nobodybusiness]

I have two dogs , I called one ,Bono and one Edge , so when I call them I shout "hey U2 come here "

Need a Groan emoji for that one. ?

 

[Supervstech]

Need a Groan emoji for that one. ?

I mean… all dad jokes are full groan… no?

 

[littleharbor2]

What do you call a guy hanging on the living room wall? Art
What do you call him if he's your dad? Pop Art.

 

[ArtieKendall]

Don't trust acupuncturists.

Spoiler

They're backstabbers.

I went to an acupuncturist, and when I got home, my voodoo doll was dead.

 

[JJJJ]

mean… all dad jokes are full groan… no?

Don’t forget the obligatory eye roll

 

[BoloMKXXVIII]

What do you call a guy hanging on the living room wall? Art
What do you call him if he's your dad? Pop Art.

If he is at your front door? Mat

 

[OzSolar]

Why do you never see elephants hiding behind trees?

Spoiler

Becuse they are so good at it.

 

[littleharbor2]

If he is at your front door? Mat

In your hot tub... Stu.
Him and his brother hanging by the window.....Curt n' Rod.
Out in the lake....Bob

 

[Delmar]

What do you call a guy hanging on the living room wall? Art

Don't forget his one-legged wife Eileen

 

[littleharbor2]

Don't forget his one-legged wife Eileen

And their hot friends on the grill Frank and Patty.

 

[BoloMKXXVIII]

In your hot tub... Stu.
Him and his brother hanging by the window.....Curt n' Rod.
Out in the lake....Bob

In a pile of leaves...Rustle

 

[SeaGal]

In a pile of leaves...Rustle

If he lives underground... Warren

 

[wattmatters]

A miner? Doug.

 

[HRTKD]

In order to make your own holy water...

Spoiler

You must first boil the hell out of it

 

[svetz]

An explicit person: Frank.

 

[wiseacre]

An explicit person: Frank.

Speaking of Frank
I had a client that insisted he could make a better deal on plants than I could.
We first went to the nursery I prefered and the sales rep kept saying, "let me be Frank with you"
We left and spent the day visiting upteen different places.
Finding nothing better than my prefered nursery I said we should go back and see "Frank"
First time I ever heard that client laugh

 

[littleharbor2]

Someone you owe money to....Bill

 

[littleharbor2]

A guy who's always hanging around?.... Chad

 

[Supervstech]

That really sneaky friend?

Sly

 

[Supervstech]

That really muscular dad? Jim

 

[sunshine_eggo]

That really muscular dad? Jim

Side note: In this spirit, I actually know a guy named Jim Bagge.

 

[HRTKD]

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying in the road?

Spoiler

Otto

 

[EastTexCowboy]

Side note: In this spirit, I actually know a guy named Jim Bagge.

I'm guessing someone who worked out a lot would be Jim Ratt?

 

[littleharbor2]

True story.... I knew a woman when I lived on Catalina Island who's name is Nita Dick. And that's not short for Anita. Her given name is Nita.

 

[Tulex]

True story.... I knew a woman when I lived on Catalina Island who's name is Nita Dick. And that's not short for Anita. Her given name is Nita.

You'd have to be a real Dick to name your daughter that.