Two atoms walking down the street.
One atom get hit by an photon and falls down.
The atom gets up and says to the other atom, "Dude I think I lost and electron!"
The other atom asks, "Are you sure?"
The atom replies "Of course I am sure! I am positive!"
Dad: Whose skull is that you got?
Gramps: It’s Phillip.
Dad: What are you pouring in it?
Gramps: Some vodka and orange juice.
Gramps: What?? as he chugs it down,
You never heard of a Phillips head screwdriver?