Dad Jokes (let's hear your worst! ;-)

[Delmar]

When is it time to come out?

 

[littleharbor2]

But... did you do that at 8 'o clock?

No, it was the clock at the dentists office. It was......tooth-hurty 2: 30

 

[MrSparkle]

Running to the bus, I had no time to clock the door.

 

[wattmatters]

After eating the clock I ate a frozen apple.
Hard core.

 

[wattmatters]

I learned yesterday they don't watch the Flintstones in Dubai.
But Abu Dhabi do.

 

[Danke]

Wow!
So let me guess. You write as if you would, how should I put it, "have experience of both scenarios"..?
If so. Have you not learned at the first, "sofa-level", that "there is no hell like a woman scorched"?
Hmm. If still not. What is the next step after dog shed?

 

[DPC]

Q: Where does a bee go to the bathroom?

A: At the BP station

As told to me by my 3rd grade son over 2 decades ago.

Still one of my favorites.

Hope you have a British Petroleum gas station in your area so it makes sense. ?

Gosh I feel old
I still remember BP stations and the BP tanker truck delivering fuel oil.
And Fina...
And Super test....

Dam.
Thats joke in itself.

 

[HRTKD]

 

[Tulex]

I ate a clock yesterday, it was so time consuming.

One minute question, did you go back for seconds?

 

[Delmar]

One minute question, did you go back for seconds?

You win the Forums for today.

 

[42OhmsPA]

One minute question, did you go back for seconds?

They were specktickular.

 

[doityourself2021]

View attachment 241040

I learned, much more rewarding to just walk away.. If one should arise.. lol

 

[wattmatters]

I used to have a job collecting leaves. I was raking it in.

 

[wattmatters]

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...

The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was excellent.

 

[Delmar]

I learned, much more rewarding to just walk away.. If one should arise.. lol

As my father said "you can be dead right or dead wrong, but you are still dead".

 

[Hog On Ice]

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink .
I'm at the ER now , waiting to be seen .

 

[45North]

He accidentally drank a bottle of varnish.
It was a terrible end but a beautiful finish.

 

[Recovering EE]

Gosh I feel old
I still remember BP stations and the BP tanker truck delivering fuel oil.
And Fina...
And Super test....

Dam.
Thats joke in itself.

How about Terrible Herbst?

 

[wattmatters]

I'm reading a book on the history of glue - can't put it down.

I did that in preparation for a job at the glue factory, but was sacked for being too slow. I'm just not suited to a fast paste environment.

 

[Delmar]

I accused my wife of putting glue on my weapons collection. She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

 

[Recovering EE]

All we need is a couple of aliens saying these while hiding behind a hedge.

(I do love those.)

 

[Hog On Ice]

Why do milking stools only have 3 legs ?
The cow has the udder .

 

[Brett V]

 

[Hog On Ice]

 

[Hog On Ice]

View attachment 241943

Thankfully I only have CDO . It's the same things , but it's in alphabetical order like it's supposed to be .