Dad Jokes (let's hear your worst! ;-)

[littleharbor2]

There is a huge difference between when a man or a woman say "I went through a whole box of Kleenex watching that movie"

Now that's some funny stuff, there.

 

[Supervstech]

There is a huge difference between when a man or a woman say "I went through a whole box of Kleenex watching that movie"

Well...
We SAY there is a difference.

 

[robbob2112]

Yeah. I mean I appreciate booty shorts and camel toe as much as the next guy, but I'll take them 501s.

From the 80's there was nothing better than a fine looking woman in a set of Rocky's jean.... no back pockets, no seam on the back... just amazing transformation even on someone that looks less than perfect in normal jeans...

 

[Delmar]

There is a huge difference between when a man or a woman say "I went through a whole box of Kleenex watching that movie"

Very unfortunate placement of my previous post.

 

[wattmatters]

What's the best thing about elevator jokes?

Spoiler

They work on so many levels.

 

[Supervstech]

What's the best thing about elevator jokes?

Spoiler

They work on so many levels.

They bring you up when you are down.

 

[Supervstech]

But they will always let you down in the end

 

[Supervstech]

Never forget, there is usually a camera in there

 

[Hog On Ice]

Never forget, there is usually a camera in there

Game on .

 

[Hog On Ice]

My ex has a tattoo of a sea shell , on her thigh .
If you hold it to your ear , you can smell the ocean .

 

[Daddy Tanuki]

My ex has a tattoo of a sea shell , on her thigh .
If you hold it to your ear , you can smell the ocean .

Yeah, I talked to her about that a while back.. so no change huh?

 

[FilterGuy]

Why did the math book look so sad?

Because of all its problems.

 

[FilterGuy]

Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?

No, you should just stick with turkey.

 

[Supervstech]

I dont know... gran gran is looking chewey

 

[Hog On Ice]

Yeah, I talked to her about that a while back.. so no change huh?

Nope , she only takes paper and plastic .
Which did you use ?

 

[Hog On Ice]

 

[Danke]

 

[Hog On Ice]

View attachment 252355

Trust me , it's still high noon , comparatively .

 

[Hog On Ice]

 

[Shawn Hayes]

I always keep a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet, ….
It reminds me of why there’s never any money in it.

 

[Daddy Tanuki]

Nope , she only takes paper and plastic .
Which did you use ?

nice comeback! Mastercard! never leave a ho without it.

 

[sunshine_eggo]

nice comeback! Mastercard! never leave a ho without it.

You crazy!

Fixed.

 

[Rednecktek]

A few weeks ago I was stepping out back to grab a smoke in just my swim trunks and sandals. My neighbor the electrician was just getting to her room and said "Oh man, and I don't have any 1$ bills" to which I replied "It's OK, I take plastic, just swipe your card" and ran my fingers down my ass crack.

She was laughing about that for days.

 

[Hog On Ice]

I was sitting on my porch when my neighbor got home from work .
She was very upset , and , clearly had had a bad day .
I went inside and ordered a meat pizza and had them send it to her address .
Shes a vegan and I hate her guts .

 

[Hog On Ice]