Ok, one RMA later, and we're back in business. I'll return to the original problem of lights flickering and try to track that down.
Do I need to worry at all about other options, like setting max battery discharge rate or any other battery options? Should option 10 be at 110 or 120 (currently 120)?
Always use 120V/60Hz here in the US for a split phase system!
Here are the settings for all my six EG4-6500EX in parallel split phase:
01: SBU
02: <different values between 30A-70A for all 6 AIOs depending on the max. power of the connected PV strings>
03: UPS
05: USE (I don't use closed loop battery communication!)
06: L-D (disabled restart on overload)
07: E-D (disabled restart on over temp)
09: 60
10: 120
11: <grid charging Amps, depending on your needs, individual per AIO>
12: 50 (50V because I use USE for program 05)
13: 55 (55V because I use USE for program 05)
16: CSO (PV charge battery as first prio, grid charging only if no PV)
18-20: <as you like>
22: <as you like>
23: byd (OFF, because I have enough inverter power and will never have an overload condition)
25: Fen (ON)
26: 56.0 (relative low absorption to not stress the battery too much)
27: 55.7 (relative high float to let the BMS do it's passive balancing)
28: 2P1 for all AIOs serving L1 in parallel and 2P2 for all AIOs serving L2 for split phase
29: 45.6
30: Eds (OFF)
31-36: unused
37: n-E (no reset)
41: ddS (OFF)
42: ENA (Enable neutral pass through, which disables the N-G bonding inside the AIO's! ENA is required for all common neutral systems! Bonding screws needs to be installed on all AIOs!)
51-99: <as you like>
Automatic replicated programs to all AIO’s: 01, 03, 05, 06, 07, 09, 10, 12, 13, 23, 26, 27, 29, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 41 (replication doesn’t work always - double check if replication really worked after waiting about 1 minute!)
Unused AIO’s programs: 04, 08, 14-15, 17, 21, 24, 38-40, 43-50, 56-92