Yes you are correct there will be some phase angle depending on the load, but you're showing a massive 90 degree angle with basically 0 power factor , what in your house is going to do that at 200 amps? Maybe your at .8 power factor worst case which is like 30 degree phase angle so something more like this, so your still cutting current in half without even trying to correct for power factor and wait a little longer:
Again how often are you pulling 200 amps and how often will the relay experience 200 amps during a disconnect event. If power is being lost the amps are gone, even with some phase angle waiting for a zero crossing will cut the amps significantly in a non grid down event.
This isn't wishful thinking every relay last longer the less its switched under load, AC relays have the benefit of zero crossing just like AC breakers and why DC breakers and relays have to be more robust for the same current.