Thank you! That makes perfect sense, but please wait while I pound my head against the desk! ... Okay.See link #5 in my signature for how Victron "load balances" (hint: it's in the AC wiring section)
Actually that does make perfect sense. The wires are simply being used as current limiting resistors, and they're assuming the resistance along a wire is more consistent than the resistance across a (apparently) mechanical relay. You just need to "right size" your wires. Not too big, and not too small!
Thanks for all the feedback. I don't know if I am any closer to a solution, but at least I know more now than I did previously, and I have some more references to study.