Thanks for all the insights. I think we're going to stick with 12V if I can make it work. If I had the time I'd play with the 48v to 12v system, but it does seem like a lot of added complexity.
For the 12/3000/120 Multi Plus II in split phase, can you use an auto transformer to balance the output, or does it not work like that due to the split phase nature? Autotransformers are outside my range of understanding.
I can pretty easily replace the 3500W max 240V cooktop with an 1800W 120V unit to remove the 240V requirement, and get a 12k 120V Mini Split instead of the 18k. So I can be talked out of the split phase.
As for what I want to run all the time, this is for boondocking in a "chase the 70s" situation with occasional days of "I need some AC", not Florida Everglades in June type environments.
It's also for when we're on 30A (or mooch docking on 15A) and we want to run all the AC because we're not in ideal weather but not bother people with the generator.
Calculating peak usage loads, about 5,100 W
Minisplit 1200 Watts worst case
Microwave/convection oven (1500w)
Cooktop usage (up to 1800W) OR an instant pot (800 watts).
Residential fridge doesn't use a ton of power, usually in the 400W range when running.
Residual Class A BS Loads ~200 Watts
It seems like leg imbalance could be an issue, but I could probably mitigate that in the panel to some extent. I would prefer to avoid the auto transformer if possible.
Does this sound reasonable? Most of the time it will be the 200W residual loads + 400W Fridge intermittently and then some loads of laundry and cooking periodically. I have a 12V fridge that uses around 1.5kWh a day, and the base load of lights is .4kWh a day
Someone asked what generator I have, it is an Onan 10000 Diesel with split phase output (240V). I have never run out of power while running the generator, but I know I could do it if I tried. No need though.