I recently build my first pack and I spend over a week on top balancing. I suggest you use the BMS and solar charge controller to charge the batteries in series with the BMS in place, till one of them reaches 3.5V, then have the BMS stop the charge, leave it to settle for an hour or so and reconnect them in parallel. (if any cells are too low, you will first have to charge them individually to bring them close to the others)
I bought a 10Amp bench top power supply from Amazon for the purpose of top balancing and before connecting it to the now parallel pack I checked the voltage output with my multi meter to make sure it was set it to 3.64V. After connecting the power supply to the batteries I waited until I saw the current drop to 1Amp (Even that took hours) After that reconnect the pack back in series, with the BMS and you should be able to start using it.
The hardest part for me was learning to trust the equipment, the BMS has to stop the charge when one cell goes to high and the bench top power supply has to stay below 3.65V. Today I am a little more comfortable although I still find it stressful.
When you measure the voltage of the cells, put the test probe in the center of the screw hole (away from the thread) or it you use studs, on the top of the studs. It reduces the scratching on the top of the terminal. For connecting the battery in parallel I used bare 2.5mm2 copper wire (14 gauge) the power supply can't produce a current over 10 Amp and if I screwed up somehow, (it can and does happen way to often) the wire would act as a crude fuse. I connected the two on the ends first (so I didn't have a loose bare copper wire flopping around) and then the ones in between, alternating the side of the screw the wire ran on. Wear safety goggles and leather gloves (have some one hold the wire away from the terminals if you feel you need to)