Tulex
Solar Wizard
Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
She kept running away from the ball.
Dad Jokes (let's hear your worst! ;-)
- Thread starter svetz
- Start date
Delmar
Solar Addict
Our house has termites so I made one our pet. Clint is his name. Clint eats wood.
Delmar
Solar Addict
I got a job as a diesel fitter at a ladies lingerie store. Whenever a guy came in looking for something as a gift, I would first ask for her size.
When I found the perfect item for her I would loudly announce:
When I found the perfect item for her I would loudly announce:
diesel fitter!
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wattmatters
Solar Wizard
That's just fibulas.
Delmar
Solar Addict
I found it only mildly humerus.
Daddy Tanuki
Solar Wizard
NOOOO my head hurts reading this thread.
.
sunshine_eggo
Happy Breffast!
Did you know that there are enough bones in the human body to...
MAKE AN ENTIRE SKELETON!!!!
A dentist found something wrong with one of his patients. The upper plate that had been put in earlier was corroding. "What have you been eating?", the dentists asked the man.
"All I can think of is that about three months ago my wife made some asparagus and put Hollandaise sauce on it. I loved it so much, I put it on everything now."
"That's the problem," the dentist said, frowning. "Hollandaise sauce contains lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome."
"Why chrome?"
"It's simple. Everyone knows there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."
"All I can think of is that about three months ago my wife made some asparagus and put Hollandaise sauce on it. I loved it so much, I put it on everything now."
"That's the problem," the dentist said, frowning. "Hollandaise sauce contains lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome."
"Why chrome?"
"It's simple. Everyone knows there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."
Delmar
Solar Addict
I went to the dentist because my teeth were stained. The dentist asked me “do you smoke or drink coffee?” I told him I drink it.
Delmar
Solar Addict
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robbob2112
Doing more research, mosty harmless
An art thief broke into the Louvre. Through careful studying of the building plans and months of meticulous planning, he was able to evade all the security and stole several priceless paintings. He then loaded the paintings into his van parked nearby. Just as he was about to leave, he heard the alarm go off in the building. Without a moment's hesitation, he kicked the van into high gear and sped away. However, his van ran out of gas less than 5 minutes later, and he was caught and arrested by the police. "I don't understand", Said the police officer. "How could you plan all that so carefully, yet forget to fill up your gas tank?" To which the thief replied: "But monsieur! Zat is exactly why I stole ze paintings! I had no Monet, to buy Degas, to make ze Van Gogh!"
Delmar
Solar Addict
The police interrogated why they only stole impressionist paintings. Would not go into detail.
Hopefully not a repeat.
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.
I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.
I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
Delmar
Solar Addict
The batteries on my flashlight ran out. I was delighted by the experience.
Sounds scary. Did your life slightly flashed before your eyes?
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