Dad Jokes (let's hear your worst! ;-)

[Delmar]

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Spoiler

It takes two very tiny people, to screw, in a lightbulb. The hard part is getting them in there.

 

[Supervstech]

And of course, whats the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
Warning... crass humor...

Spoiler

you can unscrew a lightbulb...

 

[Supervstech]

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Spoiler

It takes two very tiny people, to screw, in a lightbulb. The hard part is getting them in there.

Or, a very large lightbulb…

 

[wiseacre]

Can you?
Really?
Think about it

Spoiler

Forget these four words

 

[HRTKD]

 

[Delmar]

@HRTKD They should refuse your work.

 

[Hedges]

Doesn't even know how to wear a hard hat.

 

[Rednecktek]

I'm posting that on the shop door on my next boat.

 

[HRTKD]

 

[ezwryder]

My dad told me this at the dinner table one evening.

Son, do you know how to catch a polar bear?
No dad, how do you catch a polar bear?
Well, you go to the North Pole and you cut a hole in the ice. Then you spread peas around the hole.
When the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

My mom was not amused. I thought it was hilarious.

 

[JJJJ]

What is an Astronaut’s favorite part of a computer?

The space bar…

 

[murmeister]

I'm working on the formula for a transparent cow...

Spoiler

First, you start with an invisi-bull.

 

[Delmar]

I'm working on the formula for a transparent cow...

Spoiler

First, you start with an invisi-bull.

I know I’ve herd that cow joke before, feels like deja-moo.

 

[wattmatters]

My beef is people milking a joke for all it's worth.

 

[JJJJ]

Mooving on...

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?

Because if it had four it would be a sedan.

 

[JJJJ]

This winter my landlord said they wanted to come over to discuss my high heating bills...

I replied my door is always open.

 

[murmeister]

At a gathering, how can you tell which person is a Solar DIY'er?

Spoiler

Don't worry, within 30 seconds, they'll tell you!

(If you don't think this is true, see what your spouse says)

 

[Supervstech]

This winter my landlord said they wanted to come over to discuss my high heating bills...

I replied my door is always open.

Here's yer sign...

 

[Supervstech]

What is an Astronaut’s favorite part of a computer?

The space bar…

I would think it is the esc key...

 

[HRTKD]

 

[42OhmsPA]

My brother got a puppy.

 

[Delmar]

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself…well, this changes everything

 

[svetz]

Breaking news: Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?

Spoiler

Unfortunately, many soles were lost.

Ever wonder how to organize a space party?

Spoiler

You planet.

 

[HRTKD]

 

[HRTKD]